The challenges of child-to-parent violence
7 June 2020
Often a taboo area for the families that experience it, and one that has become worse during the confinement of lockdown, is that of child-to-parent violence. Many parents feel some shame in disclosing what is going on or seeking support, which means the young person is not held to account and the violence and aggression can grow.
It is a particular problem for many parents of children with special needs, adopters or someone bringing up the child of a family member of friend.
Using the language of 'parts' to communicate emotions
I sometimes suggest to clients the value of describing their experience in the language of ‘parts’, such as ‘A part of me feels sad’ or ‘a part of me was angry’.
The advantage of using this kind of language is when we may feel overwhelmed or dominated by certain feelings. By using the language of parts we are able to acknowledge our experience without being completely ‘in’ it.
It also helps us allow in feelings that we may be uncomfortable with, such as anger, envy, jealousy, hatred. By saying that a part of us feels jealous, envious, or furious, we remove some of the judgment we may hold.
Read more: Using the language of 'parts' to communicate emotions
'Lowest of the low' narcissism
24 May 2020
Usually we understand narcissism as a kind of arrogance or superiority. But there is another side to this, which is the ‘I’m the lowest of the low’ form of narcissism.
Of course, I believe we can all show these narcissistic traits to some degree, but for some people they seem to be deeply embedded ways of relating to the world and can cause major problems in relationships.
Many people swing between the superior/inferior expressions of narcissism, either feeling like they are better than everyone else or worse.
