![](/images/Pink.png)
We may not like it, but pain can have a purpose
18 June 2024
“There is no coming to consciousness without pain.”
Carl Jung
Most of us try to avoid pain in our daily lives. instead we seek pleasure. Nothing wrong with that, you might say, and obviously it’s important to allow ourselves pleasurable experiences.
![](/images/passive.png)
What is passive aggression and how do you deal with it?
13 May 2024
Do you have someone in your life who is passive aggressive, or is it something you yourself express in your relationships?
Firstly, what is passive aggression? It’s a way that some people express aggression or anger in an indirect way. This could include ‘forgetting’ that they’ve agreed to do something or forgetting important events such as birthdays. Or arriving late when they’re meeting up with you.
Read more: What is passive aggression and how do you deal with it?
![](/images/anger-min.png)
I love you, I hate you
27 April 2024
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
I hate u I love u, Gnash
The people you love are usually the ones that can hurt you the most. That’s why there are so many songs about love turned sour, the beloved becoming the hated.
![](/images/blessing-min.png#joomlaImage://local-images/blessing-min.png)
In every blessing a curse and in every curse a blessing
31 March 2024
The phrase above was one that a workshop leader in a men’s group I used to be a part of would use. It resonated with me because it seemed to say something profound about the human experience.
It’s also a paradox - a contradictory statement that nevertheless contains truth.
What I understand by the phrase is that often, when something good, something we’ve longed for, happens it can contain the seeds of something negative or challenging. Similarly, when something bad or unwanted happens there will often be something positive that comes out of it.
Read more: In every blessing a curse and in every curse a blessing
![](/images/couple_communication.png)
How to communicate criticism in a way that your partner will listen
13 February 2024
Mostly when we criticise our partner they switch off, they see it coming and are already forming their defence in their mind before we have completed our sentence.
So, how can we communicate about something our partner has done that has annoyed or hurt us, without them becoming immediately defensive?
![](/images/narcissism.png)
Narcissism - the underlying pain of narcissistic wounding
5 December 2023
“Narcissism is a condition in which a person does not love himself.”
- Thomas Moore
Today the word narcissism and narcissist is thrown around a lot, mostly as an insult.
But often we fail to understand the pain of the early ‘narcissistic wounding’ that underlies narcissistic behaviour. We only see the outward behaviour of selfishness, treating other people as objects, a lack of vulnerability.
Read more: Narcissism - the underlying pain of narcissistic wounding
![](/images/splitting.png)
Not seeing people as they really are - idealising and demonising
13 November 2023
Sometimes when listening to the radio in the morning I find myself internally commenting on a political story that’s being covered and thinking to myself, ‘That politician is completely hypocritical and manipulative - all they’re interested in is themselves.”
Or, if it’s someone speaking who I feel more warmly towards, I might think: “Thank goodness they’re speaking the truth, if only everyone would listen to them!”
Read more: Not seeing people as they really are - idealising and demonising
![](/images/Untitled design.png)
Parent-child dynamics in couple relationships
11 October 2023
Do you ever feel like your partner is treating you like a child, or perhaps the opposite, that they’re seeming a little childish and you feel a little bit like a parent? This is a common feeling in many relationships and it’s not a particularly healthy dynamic.
After all, who really wants their love relationship to sometimes resemble a parent-child dynamic?
- Daring to be ourselves
- What causes sex addiction?
- Why accepting and facing pain can make us happier
- What stage of the change process are you in?
- The power of shame
- How to challenge destructive or self-destructive behaviour
- Tackling the problems of a low-sex relationship
- Self-compassion
- Can we allow ourselves to receive love?
- Can we allow ourselves to receive love?